surprise!

i've been kind of stressing out

about having so much free time lately.

 about two weeks ago

my position at work was eliminated

and i was laid off.

i was aware of the changes months in advance,

so, it wasn't a surprise.

and most certainly wasn't a disappointment

since my position transformed into something

that sucked major MAJOR &%$#

for the past few years.

{it's surprising much energy you use hating something. it's exhausting.}

bottom line: it was a good thing.

but i'm having a hard time 

getting the jist of being able to do whatever i want to do.

i've been living in a "things i have to do" shitstorm

for so long

that i'm not sure i know how to function

in a "things i want to do" scenario.

kind of like going from drive to park

without using the brakes.

i haven't even allowed myself to sack back 

and watch shitty daytime tv

one single time since i've been home.

i'm finding the transition really interesting

in a nerdy self-discovery kind of way.

i would have never guessed 

that it would be quite so hard for me to slow down.

i assure you though

i'm totally up for the challenge.

and really looking forward to getting there.

{slowly.}

so, my friends,

i adjust my stretchy pants

and raise my giant coffee...

let's drink to change.

cheers!

photo found here.