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Monday, February 15, 2010

pretty crappy



dear bathroom,

who saved you from the mint green paint
someone from 1950 paired with your bayberry tile?

who scraped paint drips from your green mania floor tile
with a razor blade
to restore your retro pride?

yeah, that's right.

and this is how you repay us?
you let some previous water damage
get in the way of our budding relationship?
we didn't do that to you.
for crying out loud,
you spent fifty some odd years without one;
and we gave you a fan.
people liked you again.

ok, maybe your *preservation* did have something to do
with a lame ROI...
but you didn't have to go and rot yourself out by the tub.
appalling that you would put us in harms way like that.

and if you think this is extreme makeover on abc or something,
pass the pipe.
you're high.
there will be NO gut job here.
sure, we'll replace the damaged subfloor.
beyond that, the best you're going to get is glossy black penny rounds
to match your existing black floor trim tiles.
period.

so, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
jerky bathroom.

sincerely,
us

2 comments:

  1. hear hear!
    yeah!
    and clean your own toilet, stupid bathroom...

    ReplyDelete
  2. probably in kahoots with the dishwasher. ungrateful turds.

    ReplyDelete

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